What Superhero would you have re-decorate your bathroom?

With the release of the new Spiderman film and with the upcoming release of Batman The dark Knight Rises on the 20th of July (UK) I got to think as to which superhero would be ideal for helping me re-decorate a bathroom.

I feel I have to let you all know now before you carry on reading that I am a bit of a geek. That’s right, I am happy to say that I am a grown man who enjoys nothing more then delving into a world of super hero’s and super villains, reading comics and watching cartoons and more recently superhero films (to which the number is increasing dramatically).

I was that much of a fan of super hero’s when I was younger that I put on my Batman suit and thought I could fly. It turns out that just cos you have a cape doesn’t mean you can fly. So I learnt the hard way when as a 5 year old boy I jumped out of the upstairs bedroom window and needless to say I didn’t fly but more in quoting Toy Story “Fell with style” and landed head first into the ground. After realising I did not have super flying powers I also found out I wasn’t unbreakable and so ended up cracking my skull and knocking myself unconscious. I wish in some senses I was making this up but unfortunately not, but its ok I survived and although when I’m in tall buildings I do get the urge to jump off, I now know I’m not a super hero. So now that you know what you are letting yourself in for its time for me to go into uber-geek mode.

With regard to the initial thought of which super hero would I want to re-decorate my bathroom I immediately just started thinking about who are my favourite super hero’s. I feel again I should make another statement and say that I’m neither a DC nor a Marvel man I like both so I’m including hero’s from both of the two main comic companies. Anyway back to the question, my favourite hero’s are Batman (for obvious reasons i.e. physical scars in trying to replicate him), Spiderman (for his great wit and cool costume), Wolverine (for his bad-ass attitude and also his amazing healing powers) and a more obscure character Swamp Thing (because he’s big green and pretty much can’t be stopped unless he’s up rooted and put in a desert).

So I had my super hero’s and I was happy with my choices but then I started to think about it more and that’s where the problems started. Let me explain each super hero and why they were actually a bad choice for getting them to re-decorate my bathroom.


The reason why Batman although he is my favourite super hero is simply the wrong choice to re-design my bathroom is that it would be like a cave. Don’t get me wrong I like caves but I don’t want my bathroom to look like a cave. Think about it, hanging above the toilet will be a bunch of bats (potentially doing their business everywhere). The walls would be all slimy and wet, it would be very cold and damp all the time and not to mention extremely dark. Although to Batman it would be home for me I like a warm pleasantly lighted bathroom.


Spiderman is a cool dude there is no denying that, but the reason why I couldn’t have Spiderman re-decorate my bathroom is that there will be spiders and webs everywhere. My bathroom would look like one of the scenes from Indian Jones just spider’s webs everywhere and although I’m not scared of spiders I don’t really want to sit on the toilet and then as I start to get up realise I’m stuck to the seat. So that’s Spiderman ruled out.


The reason why Wolverine is not a good choice to help me re-decorate is that there would be claw marks on everything. Also he does have a bit of a temper and is not reliable so would probably get in a huff about something and storm off leaving the bathroom unfinished. Sorry Wolverine you were made to fight and save people not to re-decorate bathrooms.

Swamp Thing       

Down to my last super hero surely Swamp Thing is good at re-decorating, unfortunately no. I mean think about it he lives in a swamp and so will end up making your bathroom into a swap as well. There would be flies everywhere and no amount of air freshener would be able to cope with the funk it would seep out daily. So Swap Thing would also not be a suitable candidate to re-decorate my bathroom.

So I leave you all with this puzzle which super hero would you pick to re-decorate your bathroom, because they are all amazing at saving the planet and just generally being super. But can any of them help you re-decorate a bathroom?

As usual please leave any comments as I’d love to hear if anyone can come up with a super hero to help them. All the best and thanks for reading. Below is a few more super heroes’ that would not be any help.

Hulk – The bathroom just wouldn’t get finished because he would get angry and destroy it when he stands on a screw or something.

The Flash – would do the bathroom to quickly he would make a bodge job of it screws missing etc

Aqua man – the bathroom would be underwater.

Captain America –   he would only want to use the colours red, white and blue to paint with.

Superman – His cloak would get in the paint and get everywhere plus he’d have to dart off and save the world every few hours so simply just not reliable.

Bathroom Phobias

I’m going to take you all on a journey to discover the deepest darkest fears of many people. This journey may uncover some hidden truths and fears that you have tried to ignore, but I don’t apologise for what I am about to reveal. So sit back, try to relax and read on as I unravel the mysteries and terror of bathroom phobias.

You may be thinking that I am going to be exploring the fear that many people have of horrible bathroom décor, the type of décor that has a voice and screams at you through your eye balls when you look at it. The type of décor where you swear the paint colour looks as if it’s come from the sneeze of a slug with a cold. Or the wallpaper that looks as if it’s been placed on a slide and a family of baboons with a bowel problem slide down it. I think you get the picture of this type of horrible décor. Maybe you are unfortunate to have such a disastrous bathroom, and I feel for you I really do (I take it the house was inherited and you are saving up for a complete re-decoration). Anyway it is not the fear of awful bathroom décor that I am going to be talking about, the fears that I will be discussing are a lot more common place and potentially even more terrifying.

So what are these fears you ask if not slug sneezing baboon sliding décor. Well I first feel I must give a disclaimer that I am not to be held responsible. If you have a flash back of a childhood memory that you have locked away and that you then need to go back to counselling before you can resume a normal day to day life. Don’t send me the bill cos I’m not paying, you have been fully warned.

To start this first stage of the journey off I will start off gently. The first fear is one that may seem trivial and in a sense comedic but to those that have this fear there is nothing funny about this at all.

Hinodiprobia is the name for this fear and it is the fear of soap. I know exactly what your thinking how can anyone be afraid of soap that’s ridiculous, but it’s true some people have a fear of soap and in particular bars of soap. Think about it for a moment, you are at your grandma’s house and you go to visit the toilet. You do your business and then turn to the basin to wash your hands, and there it is in front of you, a bar of soap that looks like it’s been there since time began. The soap has slowly decreased in size after dinosaurs and cavemen have used it, but its still there all wrinkly and cracked with strange discolouration on it.

Soap is good for you there is no doubting that it kills off germs which can potentially give you an upset stomach especially after going to the toilet. But this specific fear, in a sense like all fears is completely irrational and illogical. So why do people have this fear? Well I’m not a psychologist and also I don’t have this fear, so unfortunately I can only relay that this is a genuine bathroom fear, but I can’t elaborate.

Ok, moving swiftly on in our journey to a fear which everyone will instantly recognise and know. You may even have a sixth sense and know that I am going to mention the word Spiders or to give it the correct fear name Arachnophobia.

Spiders love bathrooms, they can’t get enough of crawling around down behind the back of the toilet. Then climbing up into the corner ceiling making some web based artwork followed by sliding and scampering about the bath. I bet if spiders could talk they would say that a bathroom is like a massive playground with roundabouts and slides galore, I guess that’s why they always hang out there.

Although the spiders are having fun it can not be said the same about people who suffer from Arachnophobia. Upon seeing a spider people who suffer with this fear usually do one of two things. They either stand as still as possible silently praying to themselves that the spider will go away, or they run about screaming like a little girl. I have personally witnessed both of these outcomes in particular I recall a big strong man being reduced to a quivering mess and running as fast as he can on seeing a spider. Again with the soap scenario I can not comment on why people have this fear, as again it is quite irrational seeing as the average size of a spider (in the UK) is barely bigger then a child’s thumbnail.

We now move on to the final most terrifying of all bathroom fears and one which is more bone chilling then mutating a soap and spider together to create a Spioap. The fear is so unbelievable scary that it is essentially an amalgamation of several phobias put together. The technical names for the phobias are Agoraphobia, Parcopresis and Paruresis, but in simple laymen terms it is the fear of going to the toilet in a strange place.

If you burst out laughing just after reading that last line then shame on you, the fear of going to the toilet is common place, and I will proudly say that I suffer from this. Although I do not suffer from this phobia to a severe degree just more in an uncomfortable sort of way rather then in a scared and frightened way. Basically I don’t like to go unless I’m in my own environment or at least an environment that I have become accustom to and are relaxed in. This may seem like too much information, but seeing as I’ve grown close to everyone over the last few paragraphs I feel I can let you know that I find it hard to de-clench when not in relaxed surrounding. I’m sure many other people suffer from this and maybe you’re there at home, work, school or where ever you are and you’re punching your hand in the air with sheer joy at the fact that you’re not the only one. Well I can tell you that you’re definitely not the only one. Below is a quote from a BBC article from November 2006.

A campaign is being launched to raise awareness of the crippling impact of toilet phobia.

The National Phobic Society estimates at least four million Britons are affected-but the true number could be many more.”

Now that article was written in 2006 that was 6 years ago so potentially there could be even more phobia sufferers. There are lots of reasons why people suffer from toilet phobia and as I said I am not a psychology expert nor am I an extreme sufferer. Everyone is unique and individual everyone has their own reasons why they have this phobia. It’s the same with all phobia’s no one knows why they have a particular phobia just they do.

To finish off this journey from our deepest darkest fears, I’m going to lead you to the light at the end of the tunnel. So what is this light at the end of the tunnel I hear you mutter to yourself, well here is my Jerry Springer words of wisdom.

We are all unique and wonderful individuals all with our own quirky fears and phobias mostly with no apparent reason for why. But the good thing is that although we maybe scared of spiders, soaps or de-clenching in public places you can be sure that there’s even more stranger phobia’s out there and that everyone has a phobia. So take care of yourselves and each other.  

Hope you enjoyed this blog and please do comment below if you have any unique phobia’s I’d love to hear about them. Also check out our Friday fun poll as it will be all about phobias. Thanks for reading as always.

PS if you want more information on phobias then check these sites out.




It’s Friday’s fun Poll

We’ve decided here at Kings Bathrooms that were going to do a fun poll every Friday. Ever poll will have something to do with the bathroom although may get abit obsceur as we run out of things to ask. But for the time being we are starting off nice and easy and following up from our last poll on favourite bathroom colour to favourite bathroom style.

As with all our polls if you have a different answer then the one’s being offered then please comment. Have fun with this all week’s and feel free to send it to friends to see what they think.