The Great Toilet Roll Debate

Which way to roll the toilet paper from the front or from the back?

Some of you may think that this alternative bathroom blog is full of general bobbins and irrelevant issues that have no relevance to either society or an individual. Well today I am going to introduce a topic that everyone has an opinion on and one that has in the past led to broken marriages, life long friendships ended and even murder.

The great debate is the position of how a toilet roll should be situated with regard to the toilet paper’s accessibility. To help evaluate this debate further I have devised a phrase, the ‘Toilet Paper Delivery System’ or TPDS.  Below is a diagram that illustrates the debate.

As you can see from the diagram there are two positions.

Position A = Under

Position B = Over

If you have laughed or smiled or sniggered at any time since reading this blog then you have drastically underestimated this debate. There have been scientific studies over this debate from a sociological aspect as well as a psychological and philosophical approach. Yet no conclusive result has been attained.

Research has shown that 60-70% of people prefer the over method of TPDS compared to the 30-40% of people who prefer the under TPDS. To provide a broad over view and will discuss what people perceive to be the pro’s and con’s of both over TPDS and under TPDS.



Over TPDS is easier to find and see the loose end piece of toilet paper.

Over TPDS reduces the unfortunate accident of knocking your knuckles against the wall when achieving the desired amount of toilet paper.

Over TPDS is generally used by manufacturers to display their loo roll products as patterned wall paper can be more aesthetically displayed.

Under TPDS


Under TPDS can be said to provide a tidier appearance due to the loose end being hidden underneath and out of view.

Under TPDS has less chance of unravelling if an earthquake were to occur.

Under TPDS also has less chance of being unravelled by small children or pets such as cats or dogs (we’ve all seen the Andrex commercials with the cute puppy).

Each toilet roll position has its own benefits and faults but ultimately it comes down to personal preference and something that only you can decide. Like all great debates such as Vampires vs Werewolves, Pirates vs Ninjas or Cake vs Biscuits this debate will rage on through out all eternity.

As with most of my blog’s I could write more, and I realise I am only scratching the surface of this debate. I will no doubt return to this topic at a later date to delve deeper into this conundrum.

Well I hope you enjoyed this blog and that you haven’t lost any friendships over it. On Friday the fun poll will be this debate so think long and hard and make sure you return on Friday to make your vote.

Shower Enclosure Sale to save you from Olympic Blues

The Olympics has finally drawn to a close and the Paralympics is soon to begin. With all this excitement coming to an end after Great Britain producing some simply stunning results this has been a fantastic games.

But what will everyone do now that the games are not going to be back for another 4 years? Plus they are moving a long distance all the way over to sunny Brazil.

To help you all deal with the frustration of what to do with all this spare time now. Here at Kings Bathrooms we are having a huge sale on nearly all of our shower enclosures to help you pass the time.

Here is a list of all the shower enclosure types available in our sale.

Pivot Door Shower Enclosures

Bow Hinge Door shower Enclosures

Bi-Fold Door Shower Enclosures

Quadrant Shower Enclosures

Offset Quadrant Shower Enclosures

Sliding Door Shower Enclosures

Side Panels

Bath Shower Screens

Walk Thru Shower Enclosures

Quadrant Shower Enclosure

Quadrant Shower Enclosure

Let me give you a couple of comparison between our prices and the leading high street prices.

B&Q 800mm Quadrant Shower Enclosure £219.98

Better Bathrooms 800mm Quadrant Shower Enclosure £89.00

Kings Bathroom 800mm Quadrant Shower Enclosure £59.99

Wickes 760mm Pivot Door Shower Enclosure £161.49

Kings Bathroom 760mm Pivot Door Shower Enclosure £59.99

As you can see we have absolutely huge savings and beat our competitors hands down.

We are so sure that you will be blown away with our prices that we have guaranteed that you won’t find the same shower enclosure both make and model anywhere cheaper in the UK.

If you are suffering from Olympic blues, and need something to do. Why not re-invigorate your bathroom with a new shower enclosure from Kings Bathrooms.

The Power of Calm to Bring you Back From the Dark Side

It’s Monday and that means another whole week of work something that not a lot of people crave, but it’s the way the cookie crumbles. Plus everyone has to work so no use in moaning about it so let’s just enjoy our new week. So with enjoying this new week we have a wonderful new Alternative Bathroom Blog. Yay, Whoooo, yay, wicked, pucker, brilliant whooo.

Anyway moving swiftly on, I was thinking about what great tit bits and useless information I could convey to you all today. I mean last week we had the excitement of trying to figure out which superhero is best to re-decorate your bathroom and before that we had the celebration of the humble toilet. But I was stumped on what to briefly discuss with you all. Then it came to me or more a close friend gave it to me, that spark of an idea for this blog.

It was over a brief texting conversation about him being angry and needing to calm down that he used the expression ‘the power of calm’. Wow what a great expression I mean it just says so much. So it got me thinking what makes me annoyed that I would need to call on the power of calm. Then like a fly hitting the window screen of a car going 80mph I knew what makes me infuriated and gets me annoyed, three small letters DIY.

DIY Fail

DIY is essentially what Kings Bathrooms is all about to a certain degree anyway. We sell all varieties of bathroom products ranging from luxury whirlpool baths to the lowly but essential waste pipes. So although DIY frustrates and annoys me I’m actually working for a DIY company in essence. It’s no wonder I haven’t thrown my computer out of the window and run around the showroom with my pants on my head, shouting obscene profanities at the static products in sheer anger. But its ok, my pants are still on keeping my bits and pieces comfy and my computer is still situated in front of me as I type.

I do exaggerate for effect because I actually don’t mind DIY it’s more the fact that I’m not particularly good at it which is the main problem. My brother is a carpenter/multi-trade handyman and my dad is also very good at DIY. I think unfortunately the DIY gene skipped me although my dad is still trying to engage me in this trade by buying me drill bits for Christmas. The only problem is I don’t even own a drill rendering the wonderful drill bits useless. Anyway that’s enough family history and deviating back to the ‘the power of calm’.

The power of calm is essential when undertaking any DIY task as I found out when re-sealing my bath tub over the weekend. The landlord had decided to put some kind of plastic skirting round the bath upon discovering a small leak coming from the bath. Now I don’t know if you’ve ever had one of these plastic skirting things round your bath but there’s simply no other way to put it, they are useless. They are as good as washing with a trout and towelling down with a hedgehog and using a skunk as aftershave. Maybe a bit harsh, I guess for an immediate short term fix they are ok apart from that just plain rubbish.

So I decided to under take this DIY challenge of re-sealing the bath tub and as I guide you through my journey be aware of the stages that occurred.

Stage 1 Fear

So as the skirting was half falling off I decided now is the time to take it off and simply run some new fresh sealant round the bath and solve all the problems. But as I removed the skirting it was with shock and horror that all the glue was still attached to it and still really sticky. Stage one of frustration had occurred the fear factor. Fear that I had just set myself up for a bigger job then expected.

Stage 2 Anger

It’s OK I said to myself and continued in scrapping off all the glue which was attached all around the bath and on the tiles and basically everywhere. But no matter how much I scrapped and pulled it off, it was still sticky and horrible and refused to come off. It was like an invisible glue monster that was constantly walking all around the bath tub leaving horrible gloopy glue everywhere. Stage two had kicked in the anger stage. I was starting to get really angry at this ridiculous amount of sticky mess ever where.

Stage 3 Hate

By now the stages in my mood are changing rapidly and what seemed like a great idea and a challenge which I felt I could achieve has driven me to hate. Hate the project hate the bath tub and especially hate the glue which was still all over the place.

Stage 4 Suffering

This lead me to the fourth and final stage, suffering. I was now alone in my bathroom listening to Mr Scruff (quality DJ check his stuff out its Funky goodness) on my laptop feeling low.

If you have an astute mind or are of the Jediism religion you would have figured out that I had gone to the dark side. That’s right I was turning into the Darth Vader of bathroom DIY. It’s all as master Yoda said


“Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering.”

–YODA, Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace

In conclusion the Power of Calm is not just a phrase that you can simply dismiss lightly. It should be at the forefront of your mind when undertaking any DIY task or even when undertaking any task in life. So I want to thank my friend publicly for introducing me to The Power of Calm, for without it I would be half man half machine with a serious breathing problem and dressed in black.

As always thanks for reading and please leave any comments as I’d love to hear from you if you have ever turned to the dark side when under taking a DIY task.

Friday Fun Super Villain Bathroom Poll

Earlier on this week we delved into the world of super hero’s and who you would have re-decorate your bathroom. We found out that although super hero’s are good at saving the world on potentially re-decorating a bathroom they maybe less then useless.

So for today’s Friday fun poll i thought it was time we give the super villans a chance at playing Lawerence Llwellyn Bowen. For anyone that does’nt know who he is. He is a camp presenter on one of those re-decorating home programes where it’s all a surprise and everyone always really likes it even though from the look on their faces they clearly hate it.

The Joker

Anyway enjoy the poll and if you feel like you are super enough and need a re-decoration be sure to check out all our products here.

Also please do comment if your favourite super villain isant listed, have fun.

Positive Thinking


Here in the UK we have simply not had a summer, the weather has been completely and utterly awful even more so then usual. The rain has come and then gone and come back again and this cycle has been repeated day after day after day. We’ve had floods here there and everywhere and to be honest my hope for my tomato plants has all but faded.


So I’m going to try and lift everyone’s spirits and let you all know that the Olympics is only 16 days away and I’m sure that the weather will of brightened up in those 16 days I’m sure of it.


I know this is only a very brief blog today but I felt everyone here in the UK needed an extra boost of positivity today and I feel that reminding everyone of the pending Olympics would help. Also it should be mentioned otherwise I won’t be doing my job that here at Kings Bathrooms we will be having Olympic reduced prices. Not entirely sure what Olympic reduced prices are but I’ll be sure to let you know the meaning once I figure it out myself. Needless to say that the prices on a number of items will drastically reduce, giving you an absolute bargain.


Now if that doesn’t cheer you up, nothing will. Have a great day everyone and remember it can’t rain all the time.

What Superhero would you have re-decorate your bathroom?

With the release of the new Spiderman film and with the upcoming release of Batman The dark Knight Rises on the 20th of July (UK) I got to think as to which superhero would be ideal for helping me re-decorate a bathroom.

I feel I have to let you all know now before you carry on reading that I am a bit of a geek. That’s right, I am happy to say that I am a grown man who enjoys nothing more then delving into a world of super hero’s and super villains, reading comics and watching cartoons and more recently superhero films (to which the number is increasing dramatically).

I was that much of a fan of super hero’s when I was younger that I put on my Batman suit and thought I could fly. It turns out that just cos you have a cape doesn’t mean you can fly. So I learnt the hard way when as a 5 year old boy I jumped out of the upstairs bedroom window and needless to say I didn’t fly but more in quoting Toy Story “Fell with style” and landed head first into the ground. After realising I did not have super flying powers I also found out I wasn’t unbreakable and so ended up cracking my skull and knocking myself unconscious. I wish in some senses I was making this up but unfortunately not, but its ok I survived and although when I’m in tall buildings I do get the urge to jump off, I now know I’m not a super hero. So now that you know what you are letting yourself in for its time for me to go into uber-geek mode.

With regard to the initial thought of which super hero would I want to re-decorate my bathroom I immediately just started thinking about who are my favourite super hero’s. I feel again I should make another statement and say that I’m neither a DC nor a Marvel man I like both so I’m including hero’s from both of the two main comic companies. Anyway back to the question, my favourite hero’s are Batman (for obvious reasons i.e. physical scars in trying to replicate him), Spiderman (for his great wit and cool costume), Wolverine (for his bad-ass attitude and also his amazing healing powers) and a more obscure character Swamp Thing (because he’s big green and pretty much can’t be stopped unless he’s up rooted and put in a desert).

So I had my super hero’s and I was happy with my choices but then I started to think about it more and that’s where the problems started. Let me explain each super hero and why they were actually a bad choice for getting them to re-decorate my bathroom.


The reason why Batman although he is my favourite super hero is simply the wrong choice to re-design my bathroom is that it would be like a cave. Don’t get me wrong I like caves but I don’t want my bathroom to look like a cave. Think about it, hanging above the toilet will be a bunch of bats (potentially doing their business everywhere). The walls would be all slimy and wet, it would be very cold and damp all the time and not to mention extremely dark. Although to Batman it would be home for me I like a warm pleasantly lighted bathroom.


Spiderman is a cool dude there is no denying that, but the reason why I couldn’t have Spiderman re-decorate my bathroom is that there will be spiders and webs everywhere. My bathroom would look like one of the scenes from Indian Jones just spider’s webs everywhere and although I’m not scared of spiders I don’t really want to sit on the toilet and then as I start to get up realise I’m stuck to the seat. So that’s Spiderman ruled out.


The reason why Wolverine is not a good choice to help me re-decorate is that there would be claw marks on everything. Also he does have a bit of a temper and is not reliable so would probably get in a huff about something and storm off leaving the bathroom unfinished. Sorry Wolverine you were made to fight and save people not to re-decorate bathrooms.

Swamp Thing       

Down to my last super hero surely Swamp Thing is good at re-decorating, unfortunately no. I mean think about it he lives in a swamp and so will end up making your bathroom into a swap as well. There would be flies everywhere and no amount of air freshener would be able to cope with the funk it would seep out daily. So Swap Thing would also not be a suitable candidate to re-decorate my bathroom.

So I leave you all with this puzzle which super hero would you pick to re-decorate your bathroom, because they are all amazing at saving the planet and just generally being super. But can any of them help you re-decorate a bathroom?

As usual please leave any comments as I’d love to hear if anyone can come up with a super hero to help them. All the best and thanks for reading. Below is a few more super heroes’ that would not be any help.

Hulk – The bathroom just wouldn’t get finished because he would get angry and destroy it when he stands on a screw or something.

The Flash – would do the bathroom to quickly he would make a bodge job of it screws missing etc

Aqua man – the bathroom would be underwater.

Captain America –   he would only want to use the colours red, white and blue to paint with.

Superman – His cloak would get in the paint and get everywhere plus he’d have to dart off and save the world every few hours so simply just not reliable.

It’s Friday’s fun Poll

We’ve decided here at Kings Bathrooms that were going to do a fun poll every Friday. Ever poll will have something to do with the bathroom although may get abit obsceur as we run out of things to ask. But for the time being we are starting off nice and easy and following up from our last poll on favourite bathroom colour to favourite bathroom style.

As with all our polls if you have a different answer then the one’s being offered then please comment. Have fun with this all week’s and feel free to send it to friends to see what they think.

Can you get your boss to pay for a new bed

The comfort of a new bed.

When looking at upgrading your house or getting something new for a new home one of the first things people think of is a new bed. A bed is a place for ultimately resting at night but also is a great place for relaxing and reading a book or watching TV or generally resting and relaxation.

When looking for a bed its all down to personal preference really, some people prefer hard sturdy mattresses that feel as if you’re sleeping on boards. While others prefer a bed that is so soft you sink into it as if you’re being swallowed up by a pillow monster.


Beds need to be comfortable as sleep is essential for everyone, as sleep helps significantly with maintaining a healthy body and mind. Going without a good nights sleep can cause major health damage and can put your life into disarray. You may think that I am being completely melodramatic and that I’m a sleep- aholic trying desperately to persuade you that my sleeping is under control and normal. But rest assured I am not a sleep-aholic, I enjoy my sleep but I’m not obsessed with it. If you’re a sceptical person then read on, and you’ll see how harmful lack of sleep can be.

Sleeping is the process in which your body recuperates from the day’s work and re-charges itself ready for the next day. Lack of sleep is becoming more of an issue within modern life, due to increased stresses and pressures. An example of sleep loss and the damage it can do is that seventeen hours of sustained wakefulness leads to a decrease in performance to a blood alcohol level of 0.05%. Basically put a lack of sleep can cause you to feel a little drunk and woozy. Defiantly not good if your driving or working heavy machinery.

Take the world record for lack of sleep is 18 days, 21 hours and 40 minutes during a rocking chair marathon. The record holder reported hallucinations, paranoia, blurred vision, slurred speech along with memory and concentration lapses. Obviously this is an extreme case of lack of sleep but clearly lack of sleep is not good for you.

So now you’re all convinced that I’m not a sleep-aholic and that serious damage can be done if a good sleep is not attained then how do you get a good night’s sleep? Well there are lots of factors and issues involved in lack of sleep and I’m not a psychologist or doctor so I’m only going to focus on what I know and what I know is beds and mattresses.

Beds are the structural basis for which a mattress rests on. They can be made from metal or wood or any number of materials. Some beds have a frame that encases a mattress while others are simple a base for a mattress to sit on. Beds can be a way of expressing style due to the wonderful different varieties and shapes available from the luxurious four poster beds to divan beds. A new bed can completely transform a bedroom and help to give you a full night’s sleep.


The other section that completes a bed is a mattress, it can be argued to be the more important of the two sections that constitutes a bed. Mattresses are essentially springs wrapped in material but you can get a wide variety of different mattresses including pocket sprung mattresses, memory foam mattresses, continuous coil mattresses, open coil mattresses and pure foam mattresses or latex mattresses also for extra comfort if you’re the cushion swallowing monster type, mattress toppers as well.

With all these varieties of mattresses, it’s hard to figure out which one is best. Buying a new mattress is also a substantial purchase and you don’t want to be buying a mattress and then finding out it’s the wrong one and having to buy another. As stated earlier when buying a new bed, mattress or both it is down to personal preference. When purchasing a mattress if possible, it’s preferable to be able to try the mattress out. Unfortunately show rooms don’t let you have a sleep over for you to really test the mattress out, but at least you can sit on it and lay on it, meaning you can have a better idea of what type of mattress it is and if it’s for you.

At the end of the day you are looking for a mattress that is comfortable to you, as this will help you drift off to a restful nights slumber.

Briefly before I end this blog which was supposed to be short and to the point, yet has turned into a full blown essay I’m going to highlight one benefit (of which there are many) of a good nights sleep. This one point could be used as a good bargaining chip to get your employers to help pay for a new bed (although highly unlikely). This bargaining chip is increased concentration. It has been proven that a good night’s sleep leads to improved concentration. This in turn can lead to improved productivity and hence improved profits for your employers. Hopefully you see where I’m going with this and see what a potential bargaining chip this can be.

Well I’ll leave you with that potential gold dust piece of information and leave it up to you to try and thrash out a deal with your employers. If you’re self employed well unfortunately you’ll just have to work it out yourself. Thanks as always for reading and any comments are always welcome.






The complication with shower enclosures

Showers are brilliant, there is simply no denying it they are brilliant, particularly first thing in the morning to wake yourself up ready for the day ahead. They are more economical then baths due to less water consumption and you don’t have to wait 10 minutes before you can use them. So why am I getting all worked up with showers when I enjoy them so much. Well I guess it’s not really the showers which I have an issue with it’s more the copious amount of choice with regard to shower enclosures.

Shower enclosures are the part of the shower which unfortunately is just as important as the shower head and handles that constitute the actual shower. Shower enclosures are essential as they stop water getting every where and are crucial in making sure you have a happy shower. But here is where my complication begins what shower enclosure should I choose?



The option out there for shower enclosures is vast and diverse with lots of different shapes, sizes, styles and functionalities, there are Quadrant, Pivot, Hinged, Sliding, Bi-fold, Walk In and Shower panels all available, but which one to choose?

I’ve tried to split the decision down into a few very short categories which although are simple logic it’s worth reminding ourselves of these simple factors. I mean the last thing we want is to buy the wrong shower enclosure.


The first small category and possibly the most important is space. Measuring and working out how much space you have to install a shower enclosure is the first action to be taken. As if you really like a certain shower style and size but simply don’t have the space you need to re-think and find a shower enclosure suitable for the space you have available.


Budget is also a key factor in decision making with regard to shower enclosures as you may find a shower enclosure made from plated gold which is no doubt beautiful but also way out of your budget and so would have to be ruled out. So stick to your budget.


Style is all down to personal preference, what some people think is wonderful, others may be repulsed. So it’s your house and your decision so be as extravagant or minimalist as you like. As I said it’s your house and your shower enclosure so you get the style that you want.

I hope you have enjoyed this short blog on shower enclosure frustration and have found the information useful or at least a reminder of what to be considering when buying a shower enclosure. As always please leave any comments and thanks again for reading.